Never Felt So Alive

Just a quick post to announce that I have sworn off dating!

I just got home from a pretty bad date.  With Kevin.  The guy I had such a great conversation with at the club.  Someone please tell me why guys think they can get away with touching you anywhere they please when you barely know each other!

And BAD KISSER!  Guys, please ... you don't need to open your mouth so much!

Things between Billy and I are starting to fall apart fast.  I guess I could see that coming since I couldn't even answer Val when she asked me, "What exactly do you like about him?"

So, it's time for a break from dating.  It's been nonstop for months and I'm exhausted.  No more first dates.  No more exchanging numbers. 

HOWEVER

Sharon (from work) wants to introduce me to her brother-in-law on Sunday and he is C U T E (I've seen pictures!).  I would make an exception for him.

So, I'm cancelling my dates for this weekend and I'm just going to sit around with Ben and Jerry, my two favorite guys!

Ok, where to begin?  It's been an exciting four days or so since I posted last ...

Thursday, Kristin (from work) and I went out to Wild Bill's with Val and Lisa (her friend from college).  That place was packed!  We stood in line for 45 minutes just to get in.  We met up with Val and Lisa but couldn't find Billy and his roommate who were supposed to be up there too.  So, Kristin and I found two guys that we danced with all night. 

My guy's name was Kevin, and he is E X A C T L Y like Brian Rau.  Talks the same, laughs the same, tells stories the same, has the same hair, etc. 

Quick flashback:  Brian Rau is this dude from back home who is the love of my life.  In seventh grade, he got his friend Kim to ask me to "go out" with him. 

She practically begged me to go out with him.  She kept going on about how "He's a really sweet person and a really good guy." 

All I knew about him was what he looked like:  glasses, scrawny, wore his hair parted to one side (total dork look, lol).  I said yes anyways, hoping she was right about his personality.

And she was.  He was totally sweet and totally hilarious.  But I, being the seventh grader that I was, broke up with him because he was just too dorky.  I wrote him a note that said, "I think we should just be friends" not exactly meaning it, just trying to find a nice way to break up.

So you can imagine my surprise when he called me a couple nights later to talk.  And we have been inseparable ever since.

I think deep down we are very much in love with each other but there is just this understanding that it just doesn't work out.  We really are just too good of friends.

So, naturally, I am very drawn to this Kevin guy.  We had a great conversation.  The next day, I called Brian and said, "Well, I can't have you so I guess this guy will have to do!" lol

Kristin and I stayed at Wild Bill's until close.  We thought the night was done, but on our way back to Kristin's apartment, two guys in a pickup truck flagged us down and took us to Waffle House.  They were ok, kinda a-holes though. 

We were on our way back to Kristin's apartment for real when they stopped us again.  We asked them if they knew how to get home, and they said they were just going to follow us back to Kristin's place (eek!)  I told Kristin that when we got to her place I was going home.  I felt bad leaving her, but by that time, it was 5am.  I wanted to go home, get my hour of sleep, then head into work.  I told her to tell them to go home and we would hang out again some other time, but she wanted to spend some time with Matt (the cute one).  It wasn't the first time she had two guys in her bed ...

That was Thursday.  Friday, Kristin and I went to work dead tired.  When I got home from work, I thought I would pass out but Val and Lisa were playing Battleship (which is lame until you make it a drinking game :P)  I played a little bit but was the first to pass out.

Saturday, Val and Lisa convinced me to ditch Billy to go to Stone Mountain and Downtown Atlanta.  That was interesting ... Downtown is scary though. 

Saturday night, I headed out to Billy's.  Once again, people were flooding in and out of his apartment, which is sooo great.  Met so many people.  As Billy was introducing me to everyone, one guy said, "Billy, is this the girlfriend?"  & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  

...   long silence  ... 

Then a completely uneasy, "Yeah."

When the dude left, Billy said, "Sorry, I didn't know what to say to that."  LOL  -- I KNEW we should have had that talk!  We definitely should have had that talk after that happened (but didn't) so the SAME THING happened at his grandma's house with the SAME awkward response. LOL

We went to bed around 1am.  I hardly got any sleep because he keeps his apartment so cold.  Plus, everytime I scooted closer to him for some body heat, he scooted away!  I almost had him pushed completely off the bed in the morning.  Billy didn't get any sleep either because he says I was snoring ... 

In the morning, we got ready and left with his friend, Will (great guy), whose family was out of town, so he went along with us.  We stopped by Billy's mom's house to wish her a happy Easter (extremely nice lady, gave Billy an Easter basket, lol).  Then, we headed to Billy's grandma's house (Dad's side of the family). 

I took pink salad with me (or pink "surprise" as Will called it).  Everyone really liked it *whew!*  Yes, it looks totally disgusting but mmm, so tasty!

His family was the sweetest.  Before dinner, we all stood in a huge circle that took up the kitchen and the dining room and said an Easter blessing.  Beautiful. 

If I have to be away from home on Easter, I'm glad it was with a family just as sweet.

Ok, so I am bracing myself a little bit more each day to ...

MEET THE PARENTS

I talked to Billy last night on the phone.  We were talking about work and I asked him if he was working this weekend.  He said yes, Friday but off Saturday.   

I said, "Oh, what about Sunday?"  You know, kinda feelin' him out, seeing if he said something about going to his grandma's.  (I am soooo slick :P)

He said, "No, Sunday is that thing at my grandma's ... remember?"

Val and I had talked about this in depth.  Earlier in the evening, she had asked me what I liked about him so much.  I said I wasn't really sure what it was, because when we hang out, we're both pretty quiet.  She agreed and said that it seemed like we didn't have much to say the night we all hung out.  So, I was thinking, oh great!  Maybe he just invited me to his grandma's during one of our silences because he was desperate for something to talk about!

So, I asked him, "Were you serious about me going with you Sunday?"

And he said, "Um, yeah.  I mean, if you want to.  Unless you would be uncomfortable ... you know, meeting my parents," in his incredibly cute, awkward, dorky way.  Oh yeah, THAT'S why I like him.  Because we are both huge dorks! lol

That was reassuring so I said, "Of COURSE I want to go!"

I think that was reassuring to him too because he started going on about what time we were going, what we were eating, when we were eating, etc.

But now everyone's got me nervous!  Val, of course, knows about the Easter dinner thing and so do the girls at work, and everyone's response is, "Oh, so it's serious???" 

I don't know!  Is it?  I was telling Justin, my awesome friend back home, about a conversation Billy and I had and Justin's interpretation was that he is feeling me out for marriage!  Hmm ...

So, do I ask him the dreaded question, "Where exactly is this going?" 

I'm afraid of the response after the reaction Val got from her guy ... pretty much shot her down ... unbelievable!  And they seemed like they were hitting it off so well ...

Ok, so maybe I'm not the "dating machine" I thought I was ...

Friday was just a weird day period.  It started off with me getting a phone call at 1am from EJ, this dude I haven't talked to in AGES.  He was obviously celebrating St. Patty's Day and doing a little drunk dialing.  Anyway, when I heard my cell phone ringing, I thought it was my alarm and I started dragging myself to the bathroom to get ready for work.  When I realized what it really was, and who it was, I went back to bed pissed.  He KNOWS I have to get up early for work!!  But I guess that's easily forgotten when you're drunk.  Argh.

When my actual alarm went off, I don't know what was wrong with my legs, but I practically fell into the bathroom, lol

I left the house about 15 minutes late for work ... which I never do.

On the way to work, traffic was more hellish than usual.  I usually don't look around when we are all deadlocked on the freeway but I did Friday and caught some dude checking me out.  Well, maybe not checking me out ... he was probably watching my excellent performance of "What a Girl Wants" ... Yep, I'm one of those people who thinks they are invisible once they get inside their car ...

While I was covering the front desk, a guy dropping off furniture asked me to sign some papers. 

As I was signing, he said, "You look young ... how old are you?" 

I told him I am 20 and he asked, "Do you know how to cook?" 

Huh?  Why?  If I said I did, then what?  I said, "No." 

He said, "Well, you better get working on that!" 

I said, "I know, I'll never get married at this rate!"  Oh, God.  Why did I say that?  This is what I'm talking about when I say that Friday was just a bizarre day!

At 5pm, I called Billy and told him I wasn't going to make it to the party.  You just have to be in a certain mood to deal with drunk people and I wasn't in that mood.  Plus, my face was ALL broken out and I didn't want to meet his friends looking like that!  He sounded pissed, and when I hung up the phone, I thought for sure that I wasn't going to be hearing from him again.

But, as I was walking out to my car, my phone rang and guess who it was. 

He said, "Michelle, are you sure you can't come?" 

I told him I was positive, I just wasn't up for it.  I asked him if he was mad at me and he said no.  I said, "Shut up.  I can tell you're mad!"

He said he was just disappointed so I promised him I would make it up to him.

The next day, I canceled on Nate.  You have to be in a certain mood to spend an entire evening lifting up a guy with low self-esteem, no matter how good-looking he is, and I wasn't in that mood ... so I went to Billy's.

What amazes me is that Val's dude lives in another state, Billy lives in Georgia and yet, it takes me longer to get to his place than it takes Val to get to her guy's place!  But I won't complain because he is so worth it!

I had been going back and forth between, Is he cute or no?  Am I physically attracted to him or not?  But as soon as I got out of my car and saw him ( ... and smelled him), I was like, Yes, you are cute! 

We had a really nice time.  Nothing really exciting to write about.  Just sat around watching Old School and went to O'Charley's (ironically, Val and Johnson were eating at the same place in Chattanooga ... it's the "twin thing" lol).  He is an EXCELLENT kisser.  He is also a huge klutz ... which I think is totally cute.  We bumped heads twice last night, lol.  I think that makes four or five since we've met.

Then, while we were at dinner, he asked me to go with him to Easter dinner at his Grandma's house.  I didn't really know what to say at first.  I think I choked on my bread a little bit.

"To, like, meet your family?"  I asked.

So, I'm meeting his family on Sunday!  Can't wait ...

Last night, Val and I double dated ...

We really need to quit doing that! lol

Our double dates never go very well for some reason.  Last time we went on a double date was in January with Zach and Jeremy.  I had been dating Zach for a couple of weeks when we decided to hook Jeremy and Val up. 

Zach went on and on about what a nice guy Jeremy was and how attractive he was ... "If I was a chick, (strangely enough, several of his sentences started off this way) I would be all over that." 

They came to pick us up and I open the door to Zach and Jeremy.  Jeremy is wearing a pink shirt and tight pants and has poofy 80's hair.  I didn't know what to say ... I wanted to close the door and tell Val to brace herself for this guy ... but I guess that would have been a tad rude.

Nonetheless, it was an entertaining time.  Zach and Jeremy were hilarious.  They did some freestyle rapping at dinner and were horrible dancers at the Latin club.  Jeremy turned out to be a really sweet, funny, nice guy but by the end of the evening, we were pretty convinced that he was gay.

I confronted Zach about Jeremy later, asking him what he was thinking trying to hook those two up.  I asked Zach if he was absolutely sure Jeremy is straight.  Then, the truth came out ...

"Well ... maybe it is deep down inside of him but he just supresses it.  He just needs to find a good girl." 

Even before this bit of information came out though, Val had decided that she wasn't interested.  He was just a little too off-the-wall.

So anyways, fast forward to last night where we double dated again.  This time with Billy and Johnson.  Both of the boys drove an hour and a half to see us.  Billy has some good lines:  "It was worth it (talking about the drive to see me :P)" and "The girls aren't as pretty in Gainesville so I have to drive to Kennesaw."

So, we went out to eat and then shot some pool.  We bought the boys dinner of course for driving so far.  Then, we went back to our place to watch a movie.

We got "I Heart Huckabees" because it had so many famous people in it and we were so curious about what the story was because the preview don't really explain ... yeah, there's a reason for that ... that movie SUCKS.  Totally stupid, pointless, and boring.

The four of us were all curled up (umm, not all together ... Val with her guy, me with mine) and with the movie being so dull, I fell right asleep!  When I woke up, I could feel everyone looking at me and I'm like, oh great, I was snoring, talking in my sleep, grinding my teeth or some other weird thing I do in my sleep.

I said, "What?  I'm awake!"

Val says, "No, you weren't!"

Billy leans over and tells me that I jumped.  Oh yeah, THAT thing I do in my sleep!  How embarrassing! 

I ask, "What's going on in the movie?"

Johnson responds, "No one knows." 

Billy left about 12:30am.  I felt bad for making him drive all the way back in the rain but there really wasn't anywhere for him to sleep! 

We're hanging out again on Friday ...

Last night, I had a date with Billy.  Billy is a guy we met at Wild Bill's (where else?) back in January.  It was the first time Val and I had ever gone there and Billy and his friend were the last guys we danced with that night. 

As we were dancing, Val kept giving me strange looks.  Billy's friend was dancing extremely close to her, getting all touchy-feely.  Billy picked up on her looks so he asked me, "Is he freaking her out?"  I said, "I think" so Billy tapped him a couple of times to get him to back off.  Billy said to me, "Sorry, he's on break from the Navy ... he's been on a boat for the past 6 months ... you'll have to forgive him."  LOL

At 1:45am, we said goodbye.  It was time to head home since I had work in the morning.  Billy turned to me and used the line, "I don't normally pick girls up at the club but you seem like such a sweet girl.  Can I have your phone number?" 

We exchanged numbers and he called me the next night to see if I wanted to go to the party he was having to watch the Falcons play in the playoffs.  I wanted to go but got sick the day of the party and ended up sleeping right through his phone calls.  I sent him a text message apologizing and suggesting we reschedule. 

I let a lot of time go by and didn't hear from him.  I assumed it was because I kinda-sorta (but not really!) stood him up, so I decided to call him.  He seemed excited to hear from me and wanted to go out that night but I already had plans so we went out last night. 

He said he would come pick me up and we would go get something to eat but he put my address in MapQuest and realized that we live an hour and a half away from each other!  So, we decided to meet at Perimeter Mall ... about halfway between our places ... 

And we had an awesome time!  We agreed to meet in front of Cheesecake Factory which was nerve-wrecking becau se it had been a long time since I had seen him.  I wasn't sure if I would recognize him ... plus, the last time I saw him, it was in the dark!

He has such a great personality.  Great sense of humor.  He asked me, "Are you always this giggly?"

Of course, the question I dread came up ("So, why did you move to Atlanta?").  I told him the story with a few details as possible without looking shady ... I just hate to get that personal on a first date!  It's like, Here I am!  Do you mind taking my baggage???  LOL  He was sweet though ... he just said, "Yeah, I can see why he would have a hard time letting go of you." 

Billy is just an average-looking guy (and a HORRIBLE dancer! lol) while Nate is blow-your-socks off, model-type, drop-dead gorgeous ... and yet, I have a VERY strong attraction to Billy ... I guess it just goes to show you how much personality can attract (or detract) you to (or from) a person!