Never Felt So Alive

I found this written on a few sheets of paper in my desk and decided it was worth remembering:

1/7/2005:  So, I recently put my profile back up on Personals.  It took me a long time to go back to online dating ... I thought it had permanently scarred me.  I didn't know how I could sift through countless messages from guys who were divorced or had three kids or flat-out admitted they just wanted some action and nothing more.  This is the dating life I am returning to??? 

It seemed unlikely that I would meet anybody, but I did it anyway.  So, I started sorting through the messages again and the first one that intrigued me enough to even save the message was from Zach, a 20-year-old with long, red, curly hair.  I almost didn't write him back ... his look was not the look I typically go for in a guy (Mom even said Zach looked more like Val's type) but there was this one picture of him that really got my attention.  Plus, his message was really sweet (wish I could remember what it said). 

So, I send him an email, asked him about school, etc.  He wrote me back the next day.  I didn't really know what else to say, and I was still hesitant to get back into dating, so I didn't write back.  He wrote me again because he thought he must have missed my message.  At this point, I decided, why not?  He was nice, possibly good-looking, and if anything, I would get the chance to meet someone new. 

So, we emailed, exchanged phone numbers.  When he called, it took me a couple days to return his phone calls--still the hesitation thing.  That's when I made my New Year's Resolution ... time to stop being so wimpy!  So, we made plans for dinner and a movie.  He was late getting there (he is as bad with directions as I am) so by the time he got there, I was crazy-nervous.  But he was just the sweetest and very cute and smart.  The first date went very well aside from the movie being bad (The Aviator) so we skipped out. 

He asked me out to lunch two days later and the next night was our Latin dancing night with Val and Jeremy.  The four of us went to the mall first and when we split up into couples, Zach and I ended up outside on a bench.  It was a little chilly, so he put his arm around me (yep, saw that coming).  He asked me what I was thinking (I hate that question).  I, of course, did not tell him but asked him what he was thinking.

He said, "I was thinking about how I normally like to save the first kiss for the end of the date but now would be a really good time ... what do you think?"

I said, "I would ... but there's all these people around," motioning to the teenagers loitering in the parking lot.  And then, it was like a miracle.  As soon as I said that, the crowds dispersed and started heading to their vehicles.  Zach raised his arms and said, "Gold!"  So we kissed of course and his response to that was his usual "awesome". 

1/21/2005:  So, now here we are a couple weeks later.  I've since lost most of my attachment with Zach.  I went to work spouting off what a nice, sweet, innocent guy I had finally found ... then Trent burst my bubble.  Some snipets of our conversation:

Trent:  "So how was your date with Rock Star?" (does the devil sign and head bangs.  'Rock Star' is now Trent's nickname for Zach--Trent is obviously jealous, haha.)

Me:  "Great.  We had a good time."

Trent:  "Did Valerie have to sleep on the couch last night?"  (we share a one bedroom apartment ... but not one bed).  I laugh and say no.  Trent asks why. 

Me:  "He's not like that.  He's too good."

Trent:  "Oh, you think he's innocent.  Can't you corrupt him?"

Me:  "I don't think this guy is corruptible."

Trent:  "Oh, really? ... tell me more about this guy."

Me:  "Well, he's a really big Christian ..."  Trent moans and groans about the possibility that Zach's band is a Christian rock band.  I explain that it's not.

Trent, thinking for a minute:  "I see the game this guy is playing."

Me:  "What game?"

Trent:  "He's acting all sweet and nice to get into your pants!"

Me:  "No way.  There's no way I believe that.  He's too nice to be playing games with me."

Trent:  "Whatever.  I used to play that game ... I know."

I refused to believe Trent; however, the day after my next night out with Zach ...

Me:  "You know that game you were talking about?  I think you were right."

And that was the end of me and Zach ...

Had a good week this week.  Been pretty slow at work.  Thursday, I spoke at our seminar which was horribly nerve-wrecking.  I thought I probably sounded and looked nervous, but the girls said, "If you looked nervous, we couldn't tell."  They said they knew I was nervous because I kept messing with my hair but no one probably noticed.  So, I've been feeling pretty good about myself since then. 

Friday, I dropped a table on my toe.  I limped around the office in bare feet the rest of the day (no way I was putting those 4-inch heels back on) while my foot became swollen and black and blue.  Had to drive home with my left foot which is really hard to do!  I took my nail polish off when I got home and my toenail is BLACK ... gross!  I am going to freak out if/when that thing falls off.

When Val got home, she was the best!  She got me ice and Tylenol.  For a minute, I didn't think she was going to leave to go on her date with Aaron, she was so worried!  Of course she went.  There's not a lot you can do for a broken/bruised toe.

Relationship-wise, been talking with a really nice guy in TN.  We're meeting next weekend so we'll see how that goes!  I told my friend, Kurt, about him and he said, "Why do you need to meet guys on the Internet?  You're hot!"  I hate that kinda response ... makes it sound like meeting guys on the Internet makes you desperate.  It's not desperation, is it?

So with this whole online dating thing, I try to be nice about it and try to go easy on the guys I'm not really interested in.  My sister, Val, on the other hand is completely blunt and if someone is bothering her, she has no problem letting 'em know.  Sometimes I wish I could be like that and tell people what I really think.  I watched her as she talked to some guys online the other night and laughed my butt off ... and took notes!

So there's this thing you can send to people you're IMing to get their attention.  It's a loud noise and the whole screen shakes.  Really annoying.  When someone does that to me, I apologize for not responding quickly.  Val, on ther other hand, says:

"Oh no, you didn't!"  OR
"Can you give me 5 seconds to answer???"

I look hard for something nice to say about a guy while Val can flat out tell a guy "You're not my type."

One guy (screenname:  greatsmilingguy) IMed her, sent her his profile.  We checked it out and were pretty unimpressed.  So when he asked (of course) "What do you think?" Val responded with "My computer's not working."

The guy promised that she would like what she saw.  The conversation was starting to lag when greatsmilingguy (AKA greatrecedinghairlineguy) said (get this!), "Great chest, girly!"

Val:  Bad choice of words
Guy:  Bad choice of outfits
Val:  At least I don't look like I'm in my 40s!
Guy:  (going on about what a bitch Val is ... but who started with the inappropriate comment???)
Val:  Guess you're not smiling now!

She's blunt but only mean when provoked.  That guy was soooo out of line. 

Does anyone else find online dating completely entertaining and yet horribly frustrating at the same time?  Here are some more gems from profiles I've seen and conversations I've had:

In a Profile:  "If you like white rappers, I'm your man"
(Unless this profile is for Eminem--which it wasn't--I'll pass)

Guy #1:  The Guy Who Was "Too Forward"
Guy #1: hi
Me: hey, how are you?
Guy #1: great, chattanooga here
Me: ok, are you on personals?
Guy #1: i'd like to be on u

Guy #2:  The 27-Year-Old Guy With the Stupid Catchphrase
Guy #2: what do u do michelle
Me: employee benefits
Guy #2: ahh neato cheatoes

And later ...
Guy #2:  i do have a profile too with a pic, do u see it
Me: yes
Guy #2: what did u think
(What do I really think?  Or what you want to hear?  Because I really think that I've seen 35-year-olds who look better.  I never know how to answer this question, and what I really think is that this question should not even be asked ... ever.)

Profile Title:  Stud
First Line in Profile:  "I'm very down to earth ... "

Guy #3:  The Super-Secretive Stripper
Guy #3:  i said im a bit of bad boy because im stripper, does that scare u off
Me:  umm no
Guy #3:  well women get jelous soemtimes, its side job, and yes totall nudity
(no one asked)
Me: what's your main job?
Guy #3: wont say till i know u
(Oh, but you'll tell me you're a stripper??!!  Yep, makes sense.)

Guy #4:  The Stripper's Main Occupation???
Me: so what do you do?
Guy #4: pimp

In a Profile:  "Yeah, that's me with the stuffed kitty cat in my photo. ^_^ Does it look so cute? *snuggles stuffed animal*"
(Yes, every single one of his pictures included his stuffed animal.)

Profile Headline:  You Say You Want a Sensitive Man ...
In the Profile:  "If you let me take you out, I promise to let you wear the dress, and I'll wear the pants.  So, here I am ladies. If you would like to see the real me (without the wig and makeup), just email me."
(Yes, every single one of his pictures was of this man in full drag.)

In a Profile:  "Currently in a relationship, but looking for friends maybe more. Just moved to Hiram Heights. Living with parents because of getting laid off and losing my vehicle and house."
(I thought you were supposed to accentuate the positive in these things.  He should have stopped at "looking for friends."  Hope his girlfriend doesn't see his profile.)

Email to Alyson:

Hey Alyson,

The date went reeeeallly well!  I got to Dallas' apartment at 7pm ... He
lives in Metropolis downtown ... very fancy!  He wanted to take me upstairs to give me a tour of his apartment so we get on the elevator with another couple.  The other guy on the elevator hits the button for the 17th floor and we're about halfway up when he asks Dallas, "Are you going to the 17th floor?"  Dallas is like, "What?  Oh no, sorry.  I was distracted by this beautiful girl."  I know, sooo cheesy, right?  But it was kinda sweet.

We drove to a sushi restaurant in Buckhead (Rusan's, I think??) and boy, was it gross!  There were a couple of things I could stomach but not much.  Four of his friends went with us which was cool but they grilled me.  Where do I work?  What do I do?  What's my favorite movie?  Etc etc  I felt like I was on a date with all 5 of them!  They were really sweet though.  Afterwards, we went to Wedding Crashers which was so funny!  Have you seen it?

Then we went back to his place and sat out on his balcony until 4am (just the two of us this time).  He let me stay over since it was late (I had to get up at 6am anyways). 

Overall, he's a pretty smooth talker, not a great kisser, but we're going out
again tomorrow.  The night we met, he already planned out our first, second and third dates.  I said, "Don't you think we should wait and see how the first one goes?"  But so far, everything's going according to plan.

Sharon is seeing a specialist today.  Her OB couldn't get a good look at the
baby's brain development.  They told her not to worry, but you know, of
course she is going to.  I'll keep you posted on how she's doing and I will
make sure to tell her you said hi.

Today, Kristin did a favor for Jaynie.  Jaynie said, "You're a goddess!"
Kristin says, "I know!"  I'm sitting here thinking, oh please don't encourage
her! 

Can't wait to hear about your first day of school!  Make sure to write and
tell us about it!

Michelle

So that was my date with Dallas.  We had a really nice time but it looks like he is moving to California for work so I'm probably not going to invest any more time in that.  So, it's on to some new guys.  Tomorrow night, I have a date with Ed, the other guy from the Meet Market (I think he looks like Manny Ramirez, who I think is so cute, minus the weight).  Val has been bugging me to call Danny who we met about a month ago.  He's seems like a really sweet guy but we got off to a bad start and I'm thinking about trying it again with him.  Val has been dating his friend, Aaron.  They are too cute together!

This past weekend was our party for Val and Dad in Ohio.  Oh man, it was so great.  So many great people stopped by, we had a great cook and a great DJ. 

Sunday, we went canoeing with our friends Brandon and Alan which was fun.  I canoed with Brandon who tipped us twice (on purpose, I think) and then went and tipped Val and Alan's canoe. 

Monday, we took our little cousins to the fair.  Also a good time except Val got this really embarrassing picture of me from the roller coaster we rode.  I was holding on for dear life and making a horrible face !

School starts next week!  Can't wait!

I think that catches me up for now!