Never Felt So Alive

I had been on the fence about Colossus for a while (by the way, the nickname Colossus definitely does NOT fit, if you know what I mean ...).

I thought I wasn't going to see him again.  The girls at work voted that if I was this unsure about him, it was better to just let it go.  So, when he called Wedneday night, I didn't answer.

Instead, I cleaned the house, washed some sheets for the guest room which is where I thought my friend, Billy would be staying for the next three weeks.  He was supposed to be moving in Wednesday night at 7:15pm. 

Well, 8pm rolls around and Billy still had not arrived.  Had I gotten my days mixed up?  I got online which is where I knew he would be. 
He sends me a message: "Hey, I was just about to call you."
"Were you coming over tonight or tomorrow night?"
"Tonight. But my friend offered me his place so I'm gonna stay there. Didn't want you to feel awkward."

What the hell?  I wouldn't have offered my place if I thought I would feel awkward about it.  What's the big deal?  I think there's something else going on here ... I think he's the one who would have felt awkward ...

At this point, I was pissed.  I had done all that cleaning for nothing.  Did his friend offer his place 5 minutes before he was supposed to move in with me?  Doubtful.

Anyways, with no plans to get a new roommate situated in the house, I called Colossus back and agreed to meet him and some friends at the bar for trivia again.

When I got there, we talked about school and work, the usual.  At one point, I noticed that he was looking all around the bar, everywhere but at me.  I was just about to ask him if he was checking out other chicks when he said, "Yep.  I'm sitting next to the cutest girl in here."
Then, he says, "I'm almost finished with your song."

A couple of weeks ago, he had sent me a text message that said, "Just sitting around, playing music and thinking about you."
I wrote back:  "Write me a song!"  Completely kidding, of course.

So, Wednesday night, I said, "No!  You can't write a song because someone tells you to.  You have to be inspired."
"I had already started it before you even said anything. I'm gonna sit down and record it for you so you can have a copy."

It was hot in there all of the sudden.
"You're turning red," he said.

Now how was I going to end this?!  Can't break up with a guy who writes you a freakin' song!  And who would want to?!  That's probably the sweetest thing ever!

So, I tossed aside thoughts of a breakup ... until the bill arrived.

Now, everyone knows there is nothing I hate more than a bad tipper.  It's a deal breaker for me for sure. 
"That's a crappy tip," I said, pointing to the $6 written underneath the $40 tab.
"That's 15%.  I'm in the industry, I know what a good tip is.  She wasn't even that great."
"That's not true!  She's been over here, like, every 2 minutes!"
"I'm poor!"  And that really pissed me off.  Don't eat out if you can't afford an extra $2 on the tip.  The song had lost all bonus points it had gained.

We both sat there, silently fuming for the next 3 minutes or so.  I think I hurt his pride.  He hurt my former waitress self. 

Until he reached over suddenly, grabbed the bill and the pen, scratched all through what he had wrote and replaced it with an $8 tip.

"He must really like you if he did THAT!" the girls at work said the next morning.

And I just have to admit, he IS really sweet ...

I had already scheduled a third date with Colossus before I visited his myspace profile.  So, when he called to confirm plans, I didn't know yet how I was going to address the 'in a relationship' situation, so I said:

"Can't, I didn't get my studying done."
"Aww, that's too bad.  I picked out this really cool spot."
I was too curious not to ask, "Where?"
"This place called Five Seasons.  It's fancy but laid back.  Candlelit ..."

I had to admit that I was slightly disappointed.  It sounded kind of romantic.  For a moment, I wanted to think, Oh who cares if he has a girlfriend?!  I want to go anyway! but I supressed that thought and stuck to my guns.

"Sorry, I tried to get it all done ..."
"No problem, I'll talk to you later."

He called the next day.  The conversation started off normal, us just discussing our days.
"So, do you want to hang out on Wednesday?" he asked.
"Umm, maybe--hey, can I ask you something?  Do you have a girlfriend?"
There was a long pause.  I really thought he was about to say yes, so I braced myself.  But instead he said, "A girlfriend?  No."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure??  What is going on?"
"Well, I was on myspace the other day ..." It probably doesn't even need to be said, but this conversation sounded even lamer as it was coming out.  "I found your profile and it says you have a girlfriend."
"You can't go by a myspace profile!  I'm never even on there!"
"You were just on there three days ago!"
"Michelle, come on ..."
"Well, if you just got out of a relationship and it's so recent that you haven't even changed your status, are you on the rebound?"
"Not at all.  When I left Tennessee, I had been dating this girl for two years and I cared a lot about her (gag), but we decided to go our separate ways and see other people."
" 'See other people'?  I know what that means--you two go off and mess around with other people and then get right back together."
"No, I'm trying to move on.  And I was hoping I'd be able to do that when I met you."

This went on for about half an hour until I finally believed that he was being honest with me, and I agreed to go out with him again. 

We've been out two more times since then, but I no longer really felt the same as before.  Almost everything he said to me was in some weird sort of baby talk.  Had he always done that??  How annoying!

He came to my place one night and met Val.
"What do you think of him?" I asked her after he had left.
"I don't like him."
"What??  Why?"
"Because he has a girlfriend!"
"No, we talked about that.  He told me he doesn't."
"Then why does his profile still say he does??"

Well, there you have it.  If Val doesn't like him, that's a sure sign to send him packing.

The last time we hung out, I couldn't wait for him to leave.

Well, I never had to have any kind of awkward conversation with Ohio ...

Came close a couple of times.  There were a couple of conversations where I would think, Wow, this would be the perfect opportunity to say something, anything about the Marine, about where we stood ... but I didn't.

And what luck that was, because the Marine didn't call the next weekend.  Or the weekend after that.  Or the weekend after that. 

After the first weekend that he didn't call, I had mentally broken up with him.  I felt it didn't even really need to be said anyways.  Obviously, this distance thing was not going to work.
However, the girls at work disagreed. "C'mon, you've given worse guys more of a chance than this one.  Give it one more weekend and then you can completely write him off."

Once I had two weekends worth of no phone calls, I felt I could go out with another guy with a clear conscience. 

I had been putting the cute guy from American Pie on the back burner the past two weeks, partly because of the Marine and partly because I really was too busy to hang out.  Wednesday though, I finally agreed to skip my evening nap and go out with him and one of his friends.

I dreaded it slightly because from talking to him on the phone, I got the impression that maybe he wasn't very intelligent.  He has the mannerisms of a surfer, I guess.  However, when I met him and his friend at a bar for trivia, he proved me quite wrong.  There were questions about history and ancient Greece, stuff I had never even heard of, like the Colossus of Rhodes (pretty bad I guess that I don't know the Seven Wonders), and he and his friend were getting them right when I didn't even have an intelligent guess!  (by the way, since when does bar trivia consist of questions like that??)

Although they were getting some difficult questions right, they were still losing badly to the old people and wanted to skip out to go see the Borat movie.
It was 10:30pm.  "I don't think I'm going to make it ..." I said, thinking about the chemistry quiz I needed to study for.
"The movie will get out at midnight.  You'll be ok.  C'mon, we want you to go."

Damn.  How do I always get talked into these things??

So, I went.  All in all, it turned out to be a good night.  I was impressed with "Colossus".  He was smart and sweet (and drives a stick shift--why do I love that so much??).  I would definitely go out with him again.

And I did.  On Friday.  We went to a bar in Buckhead.  A couple of his friends met up with us.  A couple of my friends met up with us.  Now THAT was a fun night.  So, a group of friends encourages more drinking, I think, and more drinking equals less inhibition which then leads to more openness with the new person in your life which is always so exciting.

We all would be talking and all of the sudden, I would get distracted from the conversation because I could feel him staring at me. 
"Stop staring," I would say, keeping my eyes forward so he would know that I knew how intensely he was looking at me.
"I can't help it.  It's your fault," he would respond.

We were holding hands by the end of the evening, which was cut short because his friend's car was towed.  Note to self:  Do not park in taxi stand ... Wow, and here I thought this guy was so intelligent the other night!  I guess knowledge of ancient Greece is not always a good indicator of common sense.

So, we drove back and kissed good night (amazing, by the way).  He texted me shortly after and said, "Tonight was fun ... I hope I get to see you soon ... and I love the way you kiss ..."

We both had plans for Saturday night--I had a birthday party with the girls from the bar, he had a concert.  Well, my party turned out to be a bust, so I came home early and got on the Internet.  Specifically, myspace.com ... and who do I find but Colossus, listed as 'in a relationship' with his alleged girlfriend writing 'I love you's all over his profile.

I would like to think that my blog is not repetitive in anyway, but this post is about to sound VERY similar to the one about Jay, the guy from the Braves game ...

What makes guys think they can get away with this??  Especially this day in age, where I can easily go online and google you or put your name in myspace and get the dirt on you.  Knowing this information is so accessible and public, you'd think people would be more careful about what they do or say, especially if it's all a contradiction to your myspace profile!

I can see some humor in this situation ... I'm not THAT negative/pessimistic.  However, it DOES lose the majority of its humor at, oh I don't know, the SECOND time it happens.

I hate men.

And I refuse to be a lesbian.

Is the only option left asexuality?