I thought my feelings about the Marine had been cleared up.  I wouldn't die for him, so I wasn't in love with him.  Not enough anyway to change my entire life around for him.  And even though he had told me he loved me, his behavior sure wasn't showing that.

So, I had no problem sleeping with Hulk the next weekend.

Actually, that's not entirely true.  I did have a problem with it.
First text message from him: "Hey did you hook up with Bastard?" 
"Umm, no!  Why?  Is that what he's telling everyone?"
"Nope just heard through the grapevine ... p.s. i'm single again"
I didn't respond.  What did I care? 
"You wanna come out?"
"No, I have a long day tomorrow"
"Me too no excuse"
Ok, that one didn't work.  Try another.  "It's been too long. It would be too weird"
"No it wouldn't.  We would just get down to business"
Ugh.  I didn't want to do business.  I didn't respond.
"We need to get reacquainted, just give it a try"
"I don't feel up to getting 'reacquainted' "
"You could be here by midnight"
"Not tonight"  He was wearing me down.  So, it was "not tonight" instead of flat-out "no" in case I would feel up to seeing him another night when I wasn't already in bed.

Sure enough, the next day 6pm, "How about tonight??"
"I'll call you after the football game," I said, completely intending to do so; however, when I got home from the game and got out of the shower, I just laid in bed, deciding that I was not going and that I wasn't going to call him.  He wouldn't care.

Wrong.  Shortly after I laid down: "Are you at Dave's?"
"No, I'm at home"
"Ok so no go?"
"I don't know, I guess not"
"I thought you didn't know?"
"I haven't talked to you in like four months"
"What do you want me to do?"
I didn't have the answer to that question, and exasperated, I responded, "Fin e, I give in.  I'll be there in an hour"

After we "got down to business" (twice), I realized that nothing had really changed.  The only difference was that in our conversation afterwards, we talked about our relationships and dating lives, and I was surprised that it was not as hard to hear as I thought it would be.  We fell asleep at 3am, my alarm went off at 4:30am, and I left quietly, without waking him up to say goodbye, just like I always did.  He would get on me about that later, just like he always did.

That next week was a whirlwind of emotions, ups and downs with the Marine who continued to ask me to go to NC to visit him.  I finally agreed to come up after my Saturday class that weekend, but when I went to MapQuest for directions and saw that it was an 8-hour drive, hesitation set in.
"I just feel like we can plan this better.  I don't want to drive 8 hours, spend 12 hours there and then drive back.  Let's reschedule to a week where I can get some time off work."
"So, you're not coming ... Michelle, I'll do anything."
"Really?"
"Yes, anything."
"Well, it's going to cost me $100 in gas for this trip.  I wouldn't mind if I was actually spending a couple of days there."
"I'll pay for your gas."
"Then I'll be there."

I ended up skipping my class on Saturday, taking a hit on my attendance grade so I could get up there at a decent hour.  He met me outside the gates of the base.  He was so handsome and sweet, any frustration I felt toward him was instantly gone. 

We went from the gates to a hotel.  I collapsed on the bed and didn't move the rest of the night.  The trip and the thought of making the trip again in what felt like a few short hours had given me a huge headache. 

The Marine was sweet though.  He curled up next to me the entire night, giving me my space when I needed it, and offering to get me a Sprite to calm my stomach.  I woke up in the morning, not understanding how I ever could have questioned that I loved this guy. 

He bought me lunch before I left.  He asked me if I would marry him and how soon I could come back to do so.  I told him within the next couple of weeks. 

The week after I got back, however, did not go well, and we ended it exactly one week after I had gone up there--a very unpleasant ending. 

After hanging up the phone with him, I promptly left for my friend, Holly's, place where I proceeded to get sloppy drunk, puking in their toilet (in front of a handsome, single guy--but what did I care?) and passing out in the guest bedroom at 11:30pm.  Embarrassing, yes, but I felt much better.

I felt even better when I woke up the next morning and saw that I had received a text message from Hulk at midnight: "Hey, just seeing what's up" 

When I got home, I made a mental note to write him back later in the evening but it was unnecessary because shortly after I got home, he sent another: "Hey, what are you up to today?"
"Nothing, what's up?"
"Did i wake you"
"Nope, I was up, sorry i missed you last night"
"No worries, we were on the bus and i just wanted to chat"
"Did you guys have a game?"
"All weekend florida trip"
"Did you guys win?"
"Went 2 and 1 but hey, we can talk about that when you get here"
"Oh yeah? And when am I supposed to get there?"
"Asap"
"In the middle of the day?? Are you messing with me?"

When I get there, the first thing he says is, "So, I talked to Bastard.  He told me that you two went all the way.  So, either he's lying or you're lying."
"HE'S LYING!"  I said, furious.
Hulk let me go on in my rage for a few minutes before finally, he burst out laughing and said, "No, I'm kidding.  He didn't really say that.  But he did say something that disturbed me ..."
"What was that?"
"That you didn't want to go to that New Year's party because you didn't want to run into me."
I didn't respond.  He knew what that meant.
"That's true???  Why wouldn't you want to run into me?  You know, I would have made it a very happy new year's."
"You've got a girlfriend, whatever.  Running into you and your girlfriend is another story."  He admitted that I had a point. 

So, my update for the past two weeks?  I'm right back where I started ...