"Guess who is in town?"  his text message said.

I debated whether to respond.  Earlier that day, before the text message, when I informed the girls at work that I found out he would be in town, they had given me a pep talk, reminded me of how angry I was the day he left, encouraged me to stay strong. 

"Yeah?  Til when?"  I responded.
"Tuesday." 

I text messaged Candace. 
"He text messaged me."
"What did he say?  Does he say anything about getting together?"
"No ... good.  Maybe he won't."
"If you haven't responded already, DON'T!"

That gave me some strength.  I didn't respond, and he didn't say anything else.  I was relieved and surprised ... and a little insulted.  Normally, he would nag me to come out.  Oh well.

My strength lasted all evening while me, Val, and William went out to Wild Bill's.  And then we left.  Val and Will went to bed.  And I got bored.  So I broke down.

"Are you still up?"

And no response.  No response that night.  No response the next night.  Why did I even bother?

No response until Sunday night.  I was home alone.  No one could stop me from going over there.  No one to make me feel guilty for what I was about to do. 

And so I did. 

When I got there, the first thing that I noticed was that he had grown his hair out.  One of the last things that I had said to him the last time I saw him was that I liked his hair better long.  And he was sweet, so sweet.  And I fell for it again. 

As he walked out with me, he said he would call me tomorrow so we could hang out again before he left. 

For some reason, I was surprised when he didn't. 

And I have sworn him off.

Again.