As I try to shove feelings for Hulk way down to and out of my toes, I am trying to fend off my second-most-hated-ex, the Former Workaholic. 

Yes, the dude who I went to Florida with over Labor Day weekend last year has somehow managed to resurface in my life as if he belonged there. 

I blew him off a couple of times.  Tentatively made plans with him and then never called to confirm.  He announced publicly on my myspace page that he never thought I would be so rude. 

Well, things have changed since we dated last, buddy.  I am now rude, crude, and don't put up with anymore of your crap!

Or so I thought.

The night after going out to Wild Bill's with Val and William and seemingly having my text message ignored, I went home.  I called Val and William around 11am to see if they wanted to go to the soapbox races. 

They were still in bed.

I plopped on the couch wondering who else might go with me.  And he text messaged me.

"How about lunch?"

Was I developing a headache all of the sudden?  Yes, definitely.  I shouldn't respond.  I would give him my excuse later ... but maybe that headache was caused by sheer boredom.  There was only one way I was going to succomb to this guy ...

"Are you buying?"
"Yep, on me."

On my way there, my sister called me.
"Sorry we didn't go today ... are you in the car?  What are you doing?"  There was suspicion in her voice already.
"I'm going to lunch," I responded, dreading the question I knew was coming next.
"With who?"  Ugh.  It was like a knife in the gut.
I told her.
"Mi-chelle!"&nb sp;she said, disapprovingly.  "I knew that if we didn't go to the soapbox races you were going to do something stupid!"
"I know!" I cried.  I couldn't believe I was doing this either.  "He's already driving me crazy.  He's there and he's already called me to find out why I'm not there yet!"

As soon as we sat down to eat, it started.  The constant flow of junk that spewed from his mouth as if he were the Everlasting Know-It-All. 

"You're vegetarian?  You have a protein deficiency."  Thanks for the diagnosis!
"I can sleep with a lot of women and be seen as a real man.  If you sleep with a lot of men, society views you as a whore."  Ooo, you're so insightful into the ways of society!

And my absolute favorite ...

"My mom came over to clean my bathtub the other day.  She couldn't believe my girlfriend let it get so bad."  You have got to be kidding me!

My one lunch outing with him has turned into a relationship that will probably soon require a restraining order.  For a split second, I had thought he had matured from the days we spent together a year ago, when I just liked to look at his pretty face and his chiseled body ...

... and block everything else out ...